gizbear

Ugh. Shut up, Dad. Stop being a dick...

Anyway. Memes and stuff...

I'm just following instructions
Leave me a one word comment that best describes me, using the SECOND letter of your FIRST name. It can only be ONE word. Then copy and paste this to your journal so I can leave a word about you. Don't just PUT a word and NOT copy, that's no fun.

This other test makes NO sense. How am I a bad person because a cat licked me? Or because I've been in a car crash? or gotten less than $5 in gas? I'm poor! Fuck you!

Bad Person Test:

(x) Smoked A Cigarette
(x) Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
( ) Are / Been In Love
(x) Dumped someone
( ) Been In A Fist Fight
(x) Had A Crush On An Older Person
(x) Skipped Class
(x) Seen Someone / Something Die
(x) Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your deviantart Friends
(x) Been On A Plane
( ) Thrown Up From Drinking
(x) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been in a Mosh Pit
( ) Been In An Abusive Relationship
(x) Taken Pain Killers
(x) Liked/loved Someone Who You Cant Have
( ) Gone mudding
( ) Killed A Snake
(x) Stolen
(x) Been cheated on
(x) Been Misunderstood
( ) Been Suspended From School
(x) Had Detention
(x) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident
(x) Hated The Way You Look
(x) Witnessed A Crime
( ) Pole Danced
(x) Felt Like You Were Dying
(x) Cried Yourself To Sleep
(x) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins
(x) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
(x) Made Prank Phone Calls
(x) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
(x) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/Freezer/ice Cube (an ice cube)
( ) Kicked A Fish (WHAT?)
(x) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes
(x) Sat On A Roof Top
(x) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
( ) Gone Streaking
( ) Visited Jail
(x) Played Chicken
(x) Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger
( ) Broken A Bone
( ) Made A Porn Video/got asked to make one
(x) Laughed So Hard You Cried
(x) Cried So Hard You Laughed
( ) Mooned/Flashed Someone
( ) Had Someone Moon/Flash You
(x) Cheated On A Test
( ) Gone Skinny Dipping
( ) Been Kicked Out Of Your House
( ) Black-Mailed Someone
( ) Been Black-Mailed
(x) Been Used
(x) Fell Going Up The Stairs
(x) Licked A Cat
(x) Bitten Someone
(x) Licked Someone
( ) Been shot at/or at gunpoint
( ) Flattened someones tires
(x) Rode in a car/truck until the gas light came on
(x) Got five dollars or less worth of gas
( ) stabbed someone
(x) done any drugs
(x) made someone bleed
( ) Had sex in public
( ) Robbed someone
(x) Kissed someone

Total:
If you have 00-10 ... write [I'm a goody-goody]
If you have 11-20 ... write [I'm below average]
If you have 21-30 ... write [I'm average]
If you have 31-40 ... write [I'm a bad kid]
If you have 41-50 ... write [i'm a horrible person]
If you have 51-60 ... write [I should be in jail]
If you have 61-70 ... write [I should be dead]

      

So I didn't like my other journal. It upset me. Then I found this meme. So I did it. Yay for me.


Dick Grayson (1st Robin)
[ ] You are male
[ ] You are the eldest of your siblings
[ ] You are in gymnastics/know some acrobatic moves
[x] You love the circus
[x] You have lost someone precious to you in death
[x] You are caring and kind
[ ] You wear/enjoy briefs instead of boxers
[x] You live with one parent/guardian
[X] You say "Holy ____" a lot
[ ] You have had many girlfriends/boyfriends
[ ] You have quit a team before
[ ] You have made a name for yourself
[x] You have blue eyes
[ ] You have black hair
TOTAL: 6

Jason Todd (2nd Robin)
[ ] You are male
[x] You are the second eldest of your siblings
[ ] You own a gun
[x] You have failed at something
[x] You have had a near-death experience
[x] You are headstrong and moody
[ ] You make rash decisions
[x] You have inner turmoil no one understands
[x] You have a grudge against someone
[X] You aren't afraid to get your hands dirty
[ ] You are out for revenge
[ ] You prefer to work alone
[x] You have blue eyes
[ ] You have red hair
TOTAL: 8

Tim Drake (3rd Robin)
[ ] You are male
[ ] You are the third eldest of your siblings
[ ] You come from a wealthy family
[ ] You idolize someone
[ ] You think things through
[ ] You are intelligent and quick to think
[X] You are good a figuring out puzzles
[x] You are a leader
[x] You get good grades
[ ] You fight with your younger sibling(s) a lot
[x] You lose your temper easily sometimes
[ ] Your favorite color is red
[x] You have blue eyes
[ ] You have black hair
TOTAL: 5

Stephanie Brown (4th Robin)
[x] You are female
[ ] You are the fourth eldest of your siblings
[x] You don't get along with your father
[x] You father has been in jail
[x] You are impulsive
[ ] You have dated someone from your same team (job/sports/etc.)
[x] You always feel you have something to prove
[ ] You have had a child
[ ] You change your appearance often
[x] You can play with the boys just as easily as with the girls
[x] You have seriously thought about faking your own death
[x] You have blue eyes
[ ] You have blond hair
TOTAL: 8

Damian Wayne (5th Robin)
[ ] You are male
[x] You are the youngest of your siblings
[ ] You belong to a wealthy blood-line
[ ] You are short
[ ] You are mature for your age
[ ] You are always angry easily annoyed
[ ] You fight a lot, whether verbaly or physically
[x] Your parents are/have been divorced
[x] You curse a lot
[ ] You admire your father
[ ] You live with only your father
[x] You like cats
[x] You have blue eyes
[ ] You have black hair
TOTAL: 5

Huh. Equal parts Jason and Steph... I expected Steph, but... Jason? Really? Interesting... *may need to draw my friends and I as different robins or members of the batfamily...*

Ok, ok. I'm back. Kind of. Maybe. I really haven't decided yet, but it's looking promising right now.
Anyway, I've been having a really bad time lately. There has been a lot going on. My mom had to get some more bits removed, my dad betrayed my trust again (if you can't figure it out, please don't ask) my car blew up right before I had to go back to iowa and I could only get $700 for it... I've just been like lately. Not to mention now my parents are trying to shove me into a job before i even get settled into my classes and I don't even have a car... I'm so sick of this. I wish I had my own place, I wish I had a car, I wish I had a damn job so that they would lay off.

But I go back to Iowa next week. Probably on a plane with very little of my stuff... FML again... Still, I'm excited to go back. I miss my friends, I'm excited for classes, and I'm sick to death of my dad. Not to mention it's super hot here and there hasn't been a drop of rain here since november 2010... I want rain. I want green grass. I want to go outside and not immediately sweat. I want to read in the grass. I am so done right now. Once again, all I can think is that I'm never coming back, never living here again.
I know that isn't true, but I'm tired of crying and it's all I can think of...

So for those of you who have been wondering what happened to the glorious Gizbear, here I am, returned for your joy with 15,423 deviation that I won't be going through....

Good night kids. It may be 2 in the afternoon, but good night.

      

Okay, so I have good news, and I have bad news. It's the same news, but whether it's good or bad depends on who and where you are.

I'm coming home. I can't stay here. I've been having panic attacks and I'm homesick and I can't take Kiah's mom anymore and even though I want to stay here and take my astronomy class and my intro to psych class, I can't stay away from home any longer. I need to see my parents, I need to see my grandmother, I need to see Popple and I need to see my friends. So be it if I have to take extra classes later. Maybe I can even take some classes at Temple Community College. Who knows? But I'm coming home. I'm packing up my life. Again. And going home for the rest of the summer. FML.

the thing is, I feel like such a big, fat, failure. I want to strike it out on my own. I could, I think. If I was living by myself, I could strike out on my own, I know I could. But I can't take living in this house with that psychotic, judgemental bitch. I mean, she's upsetting me so much that I have trouble eating because she judges me every time I do. And I'm getting dizzy because I'm not eating enough meat or getting enough sleep because I spend all my time with Ian and he doesn't sleep as much as me and he's a vegetarian, so we never eat meat at our meals. This is so frustrating!

I really love Ian, he's my friend and I'm having fun watching dumb movies and playing video games and D&D, but I just want to see my mom and dad. I just want to go home.

I know I want to be a big girl, I want so badly to grow up, but I'm so glad I'm coming home.

Also, here's this thing. Whatever



1. This survey gets a little personal; can you handle it?
whatever.

2. If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be?
Ebbs? Laaaaaaaaaawl. XD

3. Were you happy when you woke up today?
Meh. Not really.

4. When were you on the phone last? And with who?
About 20 minutes ago with Brandi

5. What are you excited for?
Well, I was excited about taking Astronomy this summer, but now I guess I'm excited to get to see my friends when I go home.

7. Honestly, who was the last person to tell you they love you?
Brandi. We were on the phone not long ago.

8. What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
Earl Grey tea with milk, sugar, and pear juice.

9. Have a best friend?
I have more than one. And fuck you if you say I can't.

10. Are you scared to fall in love?
I'm more scared that I won't.

11. Do you think teenagers can be in love?
Maybe. I think it's possible, but it's not likely. You're immature at that age and it's hard to tell what's love and what's not.

12. Last person you wanted to punch in the face?
Kiah's mother.

13. What time is it right this second?
2:23 AM

14. What do you want right now?
To be able to take my classes ad still see my family.

15. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
Errrr.... I have no idea and no way to find out...

16. Are you single/taken/heartbroken/ or confused?
single and sad.

17. When was the last time you cried?
earlier tonight talking to my mom and dad about coming home...

18. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
mother, yes. father, NO.

19. Do you find it hard to trust others?
it seems like I do, but I really don't. I trust them very superficially, but when it comes down to it, I really trust almost no one.

20. How fast does your mind change?
superfast, usually. but once I'm set on something it doesn't.

21. I bet you miss somebody right now.
so many people.

22. Can you honestly say you're okay right now?
not really.

23. Why do you think so many people cheat?
because they're either greedy, afraid, or weak.

24. Tell me what's on your mind.
DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS. We're playing right now.

25. What are you looking forward to in the next three months?
Going home, then going to school. Both are exciting.

26. Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
Who hasn't? I mean, especially girls.

27. When did you last talk to your number 1 top friend?
Recently for most of them.

28. When is your next road trip?
Next Wednesday. I'm going home.

29. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell anything to?
Jeremyyyyyyyyyy~~~~

30. How's your heart?
Bloody, beating, and raw?

31. Have you ever felt like you weren't important?
All the time.

32. Do you think somebody's in love with you?
no.

33. What are you planning on doing after this?
going to bed and reading comic books.

34. Next time you will kiss someone?
probably when I see my cousin in Oklahoma.

35. Have you told anybody you loved them today?
yosh! but not romantically.

36. Who do you not get along with?
right now, Kiah's mother mainly.

37. What does your 3rd recent text say?
"Are you awake?"

38. What are you wearing right now?
a red shirt that says "gay? fine by me." red crushed velvet pants, a red and a white "Together for Japan" bracelets, and undies.

39. You're locked in a room with the person you last kissed, how is it?
Fun. She's a great friend. We're probably playing video games or D&D or reading comics or something.

40. When's the last time you had a grilled cheese?
last time the caf food sucked. which was probably a few weeks ago. maybe three?

41. What's your favorite boy and girl name right now?
Oz for boy, Naomi or Illyana for a girl

42. How did you feel when you woke up?
sore

43. Do you wish someone would call or text you right now?
NO! I'm tired and i wanna go to sleep. I'll probably call my parents first though...

44. Do you crack your knuckles?
yeah. I wish I hadn't started, but it's a habit now and my knuckles feel weird if I don't...

45. What were you doing yesterday at midnight?
drawing.

46. What are your LEGAL initials?
TRF

47. Who's the first B in your contacts?
Bethany

48. When was the last time you laughed really hard?
just now because this question made me think about quordinates. XD laaaaaaaaaaaawl.

49. Your number 1 top friend walks out of your life, do you go after them?
what kind of question is that? of course I do!

50. Explain your last awkward moment?
explaining to Ian that I wanted to go home. I didn't want him to be disappointed in me, but I need to go home...

51. Are you afraid of the dark?
no, but sometimes I see things in the dark that scare me. my eyes play tricks on me...

52. Do you have good vision?
nope. glasses ftw

53. Have you ever tripped someone?
not on purpose

54. Have you ever slapped someone?
yeah, I have. it wasn't nice.

55. Are you Irish?
BLARNEY, MATES!

56. Do you use Chap Stick?
when I need to

57. Do you have any scars?
more than i care to have.

58. Is there someone you will never forgive?
yeah. they don't deserve it. I've done it before but a girl can only take so much.

59. Are you dating the person you last held hands with?
nope.

60. Name the last person to text you?
idnarb-face

Dude, what the math? There's no 61!

62. Can you go in public looking like you do?
I CAN, but I WOULDN'T. I'd need to change my pants...

63. Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a A?
No, I don't think so.

64. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
all sides.

65. What's the first thing you'll do on your wedding day?
freak out

66. Do you fall for people easily?
no. I develop crushes easily, but I've never progressed past that.

67. Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days?
yeah, when kiah and ian came home, they both hugged me.

68. Do you miss the way things used to be?
most of the time, and for the most part.

69. Song you're thinking of right now?
Singing in the Rain remix by Mint Royale. I showed it to Ian and he fucking loves it.

70. Want someone back in your life?
So many people...

71. Will tomorrow be better than today?
I hope so, but I always do.

72. What's the color of the shirt you are wearing?
red with white writing

73. Who was the first friend that you had?
Emily Long. She was a sweetheart...

74. Does it bother you when someone lies to you?
more than I can share

75. Is there anyone who understands your sexuality?
most people do. I'm bisexual and I'm thinking of telling my parents when I go home, too.

76. Are you a naturally happy person? Or is your happiness forced?
Meh, some of both. Unless you consider taking medication forced...

77. Is there anyone you wish would fall in love with you?
I can think of three people. omg... if she fell for me, I could just die of happiness.

78. What do you wear when you sleep?
a t shirt and panties. sometimes shorts if I think about it.

79. Are you obsessed with something right now?
ADVENTURE TIME! and Comic Books. Aaaaaaand, as per usualy, OMGGAISHARRYPOTTERFFFFFFFFFF

80. The first person you loved is?
My mom, probably.

81. Something terrible happened with you?
A lot of terrible things have happened to me...

82. You are locked up with someone you love, what happens?
if it's someone romantically, it'll just be awkward. if it's platonic, we'll do something fun.

83. If you could wish something, what would it be?
To be a motherfucking HARRY POTTER WIZARD! OMGOMGOMG! Or have superpowers. Bitchin.

84. Ever forced someone to do something?
Yeah. Sometimes you have to for their own good. I always feel like shit about it though.

85. When you are alone, what do you think about?
my writing or drawing. or eating delicious food... mmmm... hamburger patties with steamed vegetables and rice on the side...

86. How was your first kiss?
bah. wish it hadn't happened.

87. What's your favorite music genre?
errrrrrrrr... PASS. I can't choose.

88. Are you going to tag people to do this?
no. they'll do it themselves if they want to. I'm too lazy.

So now that summer has started, I'm looking for a job and getting ready to start my summer classes. Hopefully, I'll be able to start getting on more often now... Just thought I'd throw that out there. Sorry I haven't been on recently.

Also, found a cool thingymajigger. Hijacked from

Your Boy Side;

(X)You love hoodies.
(x) You love jeans
( ) Dogs are better than cats.
( ) It's hilarious when people get hurt.
( ) You've played with/against boys on a team.
(x) Shopping is torture.
(x) Sad movies suck.
( ) You own an X-Box.
(X) Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
(x) At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
(X) You own a DS, PS2 or Sega.
(x) You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
(x) You watch sports on TV. (boxing)
(x)Gory movies are cool.
( ) You go to your dad for advice.
( ) You own like a trillion baseball caps.
(x) You like going to football games.
( ) You used to/do collect baseball cards.
( ) Baggy pants are cool to wear.
( ) It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
(X) Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors. (silver is the second, bitches.)
(X) You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
(x) Sports are fun. (again, boxing)
( ) Talk with food in your mouth. (gross.)
( ) Wear boxers.

Your Girl Side;

(x) You wear lip gloss.
( ) You love to shop
(x) You wear eyeliner.
( ) You have some of the same shirts in different colors
( ) You wear the color pink.
(X) Go to your mom for advice.
(x) You consider cheerleading a sport. (and fuck you if you think it's not. ever tried it?)
( ) You hate wearing the color black.
(x) You like hanging out at the mall. (with the right people)
( ) You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
(X) You like wearing jewelry.
(x) Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.(full skirts. XD)
( ) Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
( ) You don't like the movie Star Wars.
(x) You are/were in cheerleading, gymnastics or dance.
(x) It takes you around 1 hour to shower, get dressed, ad put on make-up and accessories. (I spend like half an hour in the shower.)
(x) You smile a lot more than you should.
( ) You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
(x) You care about what you look like. (everyone does. if they say otherwise, they're lying.)
(x) You like wearing dresses when you can .
( ) You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
(X) You wear girl underwear.
(x) Used to play with dolls as little kid.
(x) Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy of it. (staaage maaake uuup. XD)
( ) Like taking pictures of yourself with your cell phone/camera when you're bored.

Boyish-ness: 14 out of 25
Girlish-ness: 15 out of 25